Hi my name is Samantha. In this blog, I am going to write about the hard times I am having, but also the good times. Let me start off on the good times I have had in my life. I am working 2 jobs right now (haha), I know it seems like a lot but it’s good for me. My first job is working at the ARC of Lehigh and Northampton Counties, at this job I work with adults that have disabilities. This job is very rewarding to me and I really like it! I like walking into a room and making the consumers smile and laugh. My second job is working as a home health care aid. This job is very hard but at the end of the day I always put a smile on someone's face.
This past month has been really hard for me. I lost a really good friend the end of January to suicide. She was really close to my family, almost like an adopted sister. She was only 15 years old.
About 4 years ago I tried to take my own life and I didn't succeed but there was a reason. I’m not really sure what that reason may be but I am trying to find out. I have been going to therapy for a couple of years now, and it has really been helping me a lot. I know a lot of people hear this but if you or anyone you know is struggling with depression, anxiety or anything you could think of, there is always help out there. There is always someone who can listen to anything that is on your mind.
Loosing someone who was really close to me hit me really hard. I’m dealing with a lot of depression, anger and grief right now. But talking to someone is really helping me a lot. I would be lying if I said I wasn't scared to live the rest of my life without her, but I am scared. She was like my little sister. I always watched out for her. Everyone tells me that it will get better with time, I'm trying to believe that, but I know that right now she is in a better place and she is not suffering anymore. She is always going to be my guardian angel.
So like I said earlier, if you or someone you know is struggling with anything just please listen to them, be there for them, help them, talk to them and most importantly tell them you love and care about them because you never know when it will be the last time you see or talk to them. If anyone is reading this and needs someone to talk to or you just need someone to sit there and listen you guys can always email me, find me on Facebook or ask for my number and I would be glad to listen, talk and give advice. I know what it is like to lose someone. It’s heart breaking. So please reach out to someone friend, family members, teachers, and counselors, even me!! Anyone I know would be glad you came and talked even if it’s for 5 minutes. Anything is better than ending a life. Thank you for taking the time to read this.